Subject: Opus Knight
Occupation: Prophet of The Cosmos
Attempted Swindle: $869.50 Promise of marriage and inheritance from Internet fraudster, Earl Simplice. (That's right, a man pretending to be a woman named "Earl.")
Results: Who knew a seasoned Internet fraudstesr could snap so easily?
Distinguishing Characteristics: Due to a lack of melanin, must protect himself from the suns rays with a special lead-infused umbrella.
Interests: Preaching at his self-styled "Church of the Cosmos," checking his followers levels of magnetism with a holy orb, writing monthly "Coping With Albinoism" newsletter.
Special Notes: Is not Edgar Winter, despite all of the white hair and spandex.
Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you are susceptible to cults, cult leaders, or your magnetism levels exceed 4 on the *contrivatory scale.
*Opus Knight - Inventor, 1982 (patent pending)